Oregon
Literary
Review
Vol. 1, No. 2

Home

Dorothy Velasco
ONCE A HOBO
A Screenplay


 

FADE IN:

EXT. orchard - DAY

A perfect June day in a cherry orchard. TOM, a slender young man with soulful eyes, is up on a ladder, picking cherries into a burlap sack hanging from his waist.

TITLE: Hood River, Oregon, 1905.

Tom descends the ladder and takes his sack to the weighing table. BERT, the boss (about 30), weighs the cherries and speaks to ROSIE, a lovely young woman nearby.

Bert

Twenty-six pounds.

Tom goes over to Rosie.

TOM

Tom Jefferson.

Rosie

(writing in her notebook)

I know.

She gives Tom a new sack, along with a smile. He grins and returns to the trees, going past LITTLE CHARLIE, a Native American up on a ladder.

TOM

(with an Irish accent)

Hey Little Charlie, she smiled at me.

Little Charlie shrugs. Tom goes past JAKE, a young Irishman at another tree.

tom (CONT'D)

She smiled at me, Jake.

jake

(Irish accent)

It's her job, lad. Keeps the boys workin' for miserable pay.

EXT. orCHARD - late AFTERNOON

At the end of the day Rosie is packing things up and Bert is loading them onto a nearby wagon. Tom speaks softly to Jake and Little Charlie.

TOM

Do you think she likes me?

JAKE

Rosie?

TOM

I'd be real happy to settle down with a girl like that.

Bert overhears and turns to them.

BERT

Who are you talkin' about?

TOM

(gesturing)

Her.

BERT

The hell! You're talkin' about my wife!

TOM

WIFE? She's not your sister?

Bert grabs his shirt.

BERT

Listen, you flea-bitten bum. You stay away from her.

TOM

I swear, I had it wrong.

BERT

All wrong, ya scum.

Bert shoves him hard. Tom shoves him back.

TOM

Don't you push me!

BERT

All right.

JAKE

Don't, Tom!

Bert socks him in the jaw. Tom grabs a crate and bashes it hard over Bert's head. Bert falls to the ground, his head bleeding badly. He lies moaning while Rosie runs up to him.

ROSIE

Bert! Bert!

Tom steps back and Jake and Little Charlie pull him away.

JAKE

Ye knocked the bejusus outta him! Ye gotta go. Hop a train. Get clear outta state.

He hands Tom a silver dollar. Little Charlie does likewise.

TOM

He shouldn't a called me a bum.

JAKE

Fergit it. He's the boss! They'll throw you in jail.

Little charlie

Run, Tom.

Tom hesitates.

JAKE

Get yer things and run!

Tom runs.

EXT. railroad track - dAY

Tom, carrying a small pack, limps along a railroad track to a little station where a freight train is stopped. When the CONDUCTOR goes inside the station, Tom slips into a boxcar.

INT. boxcar - dAY

Tom sees a grizzled old HOBO in the boxcar.

Hobo

(softly)

Howdy.

TOM

Howdy.

The hobo puts a finger to his lips. Tom settles into a corner. The train starts rolling. Tom pulls out a black notebook from his pack and writes in it.

HOBO

Whatcha writin'?

TOM

(same accent as the hobo)

Rules to live by.

HOBO

What for? Bein' a hobo means you don't have to follow no rules.

TOM

If I could follow the rules I wouldn't have to ride the rails. I ain't a bum.

The hobo shrugs and scrunches himself up for a nap.

HOBO

There's worse things than bein' a bum. And worse things than ridin' the rails. Hard walkin'. Mostly it's hard walkin' till you drop into a lonely grave.

Tom looks concerned.

TOM (v.O.)

Rules to live by. Don't bash the boss's head--

(he adds)

Even if he's a stinkin' SOB.

EXT. Train - dAY

The train rolls down the track.

EXT. train yard - dAY

The freight train pulls into a train yard. The CONDUCTOR steps out of the caboose and blows a whistle.

Conductor

San Francisco, city of lascivious dreams. Everybody off and don't let me see you.

He turns his back on the train and grins as a number of HOBOES, including a bewildered Tom, pour out of the train and quickly strike off in all directions.

EXT. San Francisco hill - dAY

Tom trudges up a San Francisco hill, dazzled by the mansions.

EXT. another street - dAY

In a poorer part of town Tom sees MARTHA, a petite, bright young woman selling newspapers at a corner stand. She wears a bow of pleated newspaper at the neck of her tidy shirtwaist. Her tiny baby rests on a bundle of papers. Tom picks up a paper and pays her with pennies.

Martha

(friendly)

Fresh off the boat?

TOM

Uh -- fresh off the boxcar. Would there be a place to get a cheap meal around here?

MARTHA

The Waterfront Cafe down at the dock. The grease is an inch thick and a year old, but it's cheap.

TOM

Thank you, Miss.

(seeing the baby)

I mean Missus!

He heads down the hill.

MARTHA

(shouting after him)

Don't eat the beans.

INT. waterfront cafe - dAY

Tom nervously scans his newspaper while eating his fried eggs. He mops up the grease with a hunk of bread. Suddenly the SWEDISH COOK comes roaring out of the kitchen, brandishing a raised cleaver. He takes after MURPHY, the Irish owner.

Cook

I qvit, I qvit dis filthy job, but first I kill you, filthy bastard!

Murphy

'Tis the last time I hire a drunken Swede!

Murphy pours a pitcher of ice water on the cook and ducks behind the counter just as the Swede throws the cleaver -- which sticks in the wall.

A couple of rough looking SAILORS grab the Swede and push him out the front door.

Tom has slid down in his seat.

MuRPHY (CONT'D)

T'anks, boys. Close the door.

TOM

(Irish accent)

Mister, with all due respect, you're better off without him. These are the worst eggs I ever ate.

MURPHY

Can you do better?

TOM

I reckon a three-legged dog could do better.

MURPHY

Yer Irish, aren't ye?

TOM

I--

MURPHY

Awright, yer hired.

Tom is speechless.

MuRPHY (CONT'D)

Come on. I got orders waitin'.

Tom picks up his plate and follows Murphy to the kitchen.

INT. kitchen - nIGHT

Tom is sweating over the stove, frying and flipping and learning fast.

INT. kITCHEN – nIGHT (LATER)

Tom is cleaning up as Murphy enters.

MuRPHY

I got a little room out back. Ye want to sleep there?

TOM

Sure.

EXT. behind the cafe - nIGHT

Murphy and Tom go to a lean-to shack. Murphy opens the door and reaches in to place a kerosene lamp on a scarred dresser.

INT. lean-to - nIGHT

Tom squeezes into the tiny room, which has a narrow cot opposite a dresser. Murphy sticks his head in but there isn't room for both of them. Tom looks distressed.

TOM

Tight spaces make me -- queasy.

MuRPHY

Ya got a reservation up on Nob Hill, have ye?

TOM

This'll do.

Murphy's head disappears and he closes the door.

Tom sets his bag on the bed and tries to open a drawer. It smashes him in the shins. He pulls his legs up onto the bed and opens the drawer a little more. It's full of empty liquor bottles.

When he stands up -- WHAM! -- he bangs his head on the low ceiling. He flops onto the bed and writes in his notebook.

TOM (cONT'D, V.O.)

Today I got my first indoor job. Nothing in the newspaper about the rancher in Oregon. A good sign.

He wants to write more, but he yawns and his eyes close.

EXT. newsstand - dAY

Martha is reading at her newsstand. She wears a stylish little hat made from newspaper. Tom strolls up, takes a newspaper and hands Martha a coin.

TOM

A good mornin' to ye.

MARTHA

A good morning to YOU.

TOM

I went to that Waterfront Cafe like you told me, and now I'm the cook.

MARTHA

Well good for you. Good luck.

TOM

Thank you.

MARTHA

Where're you from?

TOM

New Jersey.

MARTHA

(incredulous)

That's not a New Jersey accent. You're Irish.

TOM

No, really. I had an Irish friend, and the boss is Irish, so I sound Irish.

MARTHA

Why?

TOM

I sound like whoever I'm around.

(he puts on a black southern accent)

In the south ah worked with the black men in a lumber camp. Dey taught me to talk southern so the bosses wouldn't beat me up for bein' a damn Yankee.

Martha laughs.

MARTHA

Well this is California. You can use your own accent because everybody is from somewhere else.

TOM

(back to the Irish accent)

But me boss thinks I'm Irish, so I better be Irish till I get another job.

MARTHA

You figurin' to stay here?

TOM

I'd stay -- if I could find a good job and put down roots. Maybe this is the place. Maybe I have to keep searchin'.

He starts to walk away. She looks at him with interest.

TOM (CONT'D)

Be seein' ya, Miss. I mean Missus!

MARTHA

What's your name?

TOM

Tom. Tom Jefferson.

MARTHA

I'm Martha. Not Washington.

TOM

See you tomorrow, Missus Not Washington.

She waves and turns to a CUSTOMER. Tom anxiously reads the paper as he walks off.

INT. kITCHEN - nIGHT

Tom is working hard at the kitchen stove. He mops his face with a bandanna, deftly smashes a cockroach with his spatula, uses a dirty rag to wipe the spatula, and then flips the meat with it.

EXT. stREET - dAY

As he walks down the street Tom notices a poster with a picture of a beautiful actress, mature but still voluptuous. It reads, "Sylvia Harrington, first lady of the American theatre, on her farewell tour." Tom is drawn to her deep, mysterious eyes.

ExT. nEWSSTAND - dAY

Martha sits at her newsstand, intently reading a paper. Today she wears cut-out photos pinned all over the front of her skirt. Tom appears and buys a paper.

MARTHA

You're quite a reader, Mister President. Maybe YOU should be selling papers.

TOM

Maybe so. I see you readin' a lot.

MARTHA

A benefit of the job. I aim to educate myself.

TOM

Me too. And -- if I get educated enough -- maybe I could even write for a paper. Wouldn't that be grand?

MARTHA

(laughing)

Grand.

TOM

Pardon me, but I don't know if I should call you Martha, or Missus Not Washington, or what. I'm tryin' to get civilized -- I'm tryin' to learn manners, but I haven't had good examples.

MARTHA

Call me Martha. I'm Mrs. Zarziski, but I'm a widow.

TOM

Now that's grand! I mean -- I'm sorry.

MARTHA

It's all right.

TOM

And what's the baby's name?

MARTHA

Joseph. Like his father.

TOM

He's a right bonny lad.

MARTHA

Speak American, Tom.

TOM

Oh. He's a -- good lookin' little mite.

MARTHA

(laughing)

That'll do.

TOM

Say, Martha. Now that you're a widow -- uh -- could I interest you in going out for a steak dinner? I have Sunday off.

MARTHA

I really don't know you... No, I don't think so.

TOM

Why not?

MARTHA

Don't be in such a hurry, Tom.

INT. detective office - dAY

HAROLD PARTRIDGE, a skinny young man in a stiff suit, and his plump MOTHER are in the office of Harold's UNCLE RALPH, who sits behind a desk. A sign on the desk reads "Ralph Coleman, Esq. Coleman Detective Agency."

Mother

Ralph, he's turning into a lazy bum. All he does is draw obscene pictures.

(she leans forward and whispers)

I'm sure he's abusing himself. He's ruining his health!

She bops Harold on the head.

Ralph

Sissy, what do you expect ME to do?

MOTHER

Can't you give him a job? Anything to keep him occupied and turn him into a respectable man.

(to Harold)

Tell Uncle Ralph you'll work.

Harold

(speaking with a stutter)

Sh-sh-sh-sure, Uncle Ralph.

RaLPH

(reluctant)

Well, I do have a new case.

HAROLD

(excited)

A c-c-c-case? I'd be a d-d-d-detective?

RALPH

Not exactly. But I need to track someone down. A certain Thomas Jefferson.

HAROLD

The p-p-p-president? I thought he was dead.

RALPH

(a little annoyed)

Another one.

He takes out an envelope sealed with a big blob of red wax.

RaLPH (CONT'D)

I need someone to deliver this legal document to Thomas Jefferson. We think he's in California.

HAROLD

C-C-C-California? C-C-C-Clear across the country? Is he d-d-d-dangerous?

Ralph leans forward, portentous.

RALPH

He very well could be.

MoTHER

Now Ralph, I don't know --

HAROLD

I'll d-d-d-do it!

RaLPH

You have to find him by next April 18th. It's dead serious.

MoTHER

He'll be away all those months? But Ralph --

RALPH

Do you want him to have a job or don't you?

MOTHER

Of course I do, but you know how forgetful he is. He's so easily distracted.

HAROLD

I can d-d-d-do it, Uncle Ralph.

RaLPH

I'll give you $800 in bank drafts for your expenses. If you find him fast, you keep the money. If you spend it too soon, you're out of luck.

Harold jumps up and embraces his uncle.

HAROLD

Oh th-th-thank you, Uncle!

Mother looks skeptical.

EXT. park bench - dAY

Tom sits on a park bench, reading his newspaper. A picture of the actress, Sylvia Harrington, catches his attention. The caption reads, "Sylvia Harrington, famed actress, dead of pneumonia."

Tom can't take his eyes off her. He carefully tears out the photo and puts it in his pocket.

INT. restaurant - nIGHT

Tom and Martha sit in a lively steakhouse with huge steaks on their plates and tall glasses of beer. They dig into their food with gusto. In the background the SINGING WAITERS serenade another table.

Tom no longer sounds very Irish when he's with Martha.

TOM

I'm sure glad you changed your mind.

MARTHA

I was hungry for steak.

TOM

This is almost as good as my cooking at the cafe.

They laugh.

MARTHA

So how's the job?

TOM

I like the pay, but I don't know how much longer I can stick with it. I get dragged out of bed to cook every time a ship comes in at night.

MARTHA

This country needs labor unions. The bosses -- they treat you like dirt. That's why I have my own business.

TOM

You're smart, Martha.

MARTHA

Nah, but I graduated with honors from the school of hard knocks. What else can you do?

TOM

Not much. Farm work. Logging. I wasn't trained for nothing -- anything.

MARTHA

How long you been away from home?

TOM

All my life.

MARTHA

Pardon me?

TOM

I'm an orphan. Grew up in a boys' home in New Jersey.

MARTHA

So your name --

TOM

They named us after presidents and famous people. Abe Lincoln, Ben Franklin, Billy Shakespeare. They tried to inspire us to be good.

MARTHA

You must've had a New Jersey accent.

TOM

I guess so, but that's not me. That was the accent of my jailers. I don't know what I'm supposed to sound like. I don't know who I am.

MARTHA

Did you learn about the real Thomas Jefferson?

TOM

I'm still learning. I learned that compared to him I'm nothing but a mouse turd.

Martha looks surprised.

TOM (cONT'D)

Oh. I guess it's wrong to say mouse turd in polite company.

MARTHA

Probably. But you shouldn't say it at all because it's not true.

TOM

You hardly know me. How do you know I'm not a mouse -- dropping?

MARTHA

A mouse -- dropping -- wouldn't be interested in getting educated.

TOM

And I am. Maybe if I learn enough I'll get civilized like people with families.

MARTHA

Some families are hardly civilized.

TOM

But they have a home. They're not worried about where to spend the night. They have library cards!

Martha laughs.

TOM (cONT'D)

That's what I want. A permanent address. Family and friends who know the real me.

MARTHA

And then YOU'LL know the real you.

TOM

I hope so. I'm stupid enough to make trouble for myself. I've done some bad things, but now I'm trying to improve.

He leans forward to confide in her.

TOM (cONT'D)

I've got a notebook where I write down rules to live by.

MARTHA

Really? What sort of rules?

TOM

The basic ones, like "Don't bash the boss's head."

Martha laughs again.

TOM (cONT'D)

I'm gonna keep writing rules till I figure it all out.

The singing waiters come to their table and begin SINGING, "I'm Only a Bird in a Gilded Cage." Tom and Martha joyfully sing along. They gaze at each other and enjoy the sight.

EXT. park - nIGHT

Tom is walking Martha to her boarding house through the park.

MARTHA

I had fun tonight. First time I felt like singing in six months.

TOM

What happened to your husband?

MARTHA

He was a railroad man, a brakeman.

A beat as they walk.

TOM

He left you?

MARTHA

Got crushed at the rail yard.

TOM

I'm sorry. It must be hard.

MARTHA

It was three months before little Joey was born.

TOM

Don't you have any family you could live with?

MARTHA

Just a sister, but she has five kids and a husband who drinks.

TOM

Did your husband have insurance?

MARTHA

A hundred dollars and a paid funeral. I put the money in bonds for Joey's future.

TOM

If I had money I'd give it all to you.

MARTHA

Don't be silly.

TOM

I mean it. I wouldn't even know what else to spend it on.

MARTHA

You're sweet. But silly.

TOM

Martha, I'm crazy about you.

He grabs her and pulls her to him and kisses her hard.

MARTHA

(pushing away)

Not so fast, Tom. Not so rough.

TOM

I've never met a woman like you --

MARTHA

You've never met a woman at all, from the looks of it.

He starts pushing her.

TOM

Let's go behind the bushes.

MARTHA

No!

TOM

I like you, you like me -- I'm burning up --

MARTHA

Well cool off --

TOM

I can't, I can't. I've never felt like this!

He grabs her breasts.

MARTHA

STOP IT!

She slugs him hard in the eye. She's got a punch like John L. Sullivan. Tom staggers and holds his face.