Oregon
Literary
Review
Vol. 2, No. 1

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Charles F. (OyamO) Gordon
KILLA DILLA
(An Ogunde mistrel show for Jim Crow)
A Play in Two Acts


CHARACTERS:

LaBARSHA, 32, attractive, emotionally crippled but socially functional to a limited extent, physically strong, truly uptight, guarded, intelligent, fearful, insecure, good hearted, puts on a convincing front.

ZINGA WELLS, ,34, LaBarsha's best and only true friend, dresses in African fashion, free spirited, fun loving.

SISTA CORNDEW, 40-50, very religious, but not ridgidly so, fellow worker, playful, but serious, a sense of humor.

MR. RICHARD GOSHAN, a white man, 60 or so, formally middle class, now a bum who thrives on his well practiced delusions, intelligent, articulate, but broken.

LARRY, 40, a white man, construction worker, very decent man, an army vet, became a loner after the first Gulf War, falls in love with LaBarsha.

MAN, early 80's, black, LaBarsha's stepfather, selfish, cruel, cowardly, fearful, crude predator.

WOMAN, early 70's, black, LaBarsha's mom, cruel, selfish, self-deceiving, hurt, let her life get away from her due to her personal, mid life desperation.

BONES, male, young, a performer as in modified minstrel interlocutor, a cultural atavism and multipurpose signifier.

DOCTOR EFFIE ELLIS, Barsha's doctor.

SYNOPSIS OF KILLA DILLA:
A young woman who was severely molested for eight years-8 to 15 years old-was emotionally handicapped for the rest of her life. She had few friends, never liked to remember the past, never had a relationship with a man, was almost totally reclusive, spending the bulk of her time alone. She did, however, have an imagination and that imagination was consumed with hatred of what had happened to her and hatred of her mother and stepfather who molested and abused her. She even began to hate the hatred that consumed her life. When she was thirty-nine, she finally, inadvertently, met a man who fell in love with her, but the hatred had damaged her irreparably by then. She loved for the first time in her life. But by then the hatred in her had transformed itself into a permanent revenge fantasy, a fantasy that in turn became a physical ailment that hastened her early tragic demise. The style of the play is extremely unusual, freely adapting a form of theatre that has been popular in Nigeria. The usual Western dramatic form only partially obtains in KILLA DILLA. There's also some influence of the American blackface minstrelsy lurking throughout in the character of BONES. KILLA contains both theatre and drama and is sometimes unashamedly metatheatrical.


                                   

ACT I

 

                                   

(PROCESSION: Through the audience spaces enters BONES. Bones is there to perform and his performance may or may not have any but the slightest relevance to the  stage story he, nonetheless, prefaces. Bones is a multiply talented performer who can act, sing, dance, play instruments, do magic tricks, do acrobatics, do stand up, do excellent improvisation and loves to be loved by the audience which he loves in return. He will be called upon to quick change costumes possibly many times during the evening, perhaps right in view of the audience. The playing space is a bare black stage. There should be projection screens about and/or the entire cyclorama used as a screen upon which images should be projected where indicated or where discovered appropriate. He  enters preaching in a singsong manner like a charismatic, fundamentalist black country preacher, REV. SPLATTA, one of the several characters he will play. )

 

            SPLATTA (preaching)

“Verily I say unto you, this generation shall not pass away until all be fulfilled.”    (St. Luke 21:32)

We are all the children of one Mother.

On this earth we are all of one kin.

There is so such a thing as the “other.”

In the woman’s body we all begin

To move from darkness to light, to life.

Mama, we all cry when we first arrive

Mama, we all coo and sigh

Love to be alive (command)

Love to be alive

Love to be alive

Give God a high five!

When I call it, let me hear you shout: HUMANITY!

(hand up to ear to hear audience)

Humanity!

Humanity!

Walking on the land

Breathing in the air

Eating of the fruit

Drinking from the streams

Humanity!

Looking at the sky

Thinking about why

Why were we put here

To lie and to die

Humanity!

Black brown beige light bright

Sun color, soft red

Eyes blue green black brown

Soft like fire in bed

Humanity!

We search for our God

In someplace apart

It is very odd

We don’t search our hearts

Oh Humanity!

Can you see the fear

That stalks in our streets

Whispers in our ears

Makes our love retreat?

Humanity,

There are too many locks on your prison doors

Too many locks on your prison doors

On your prison doors

Too many locks.

 

(BONES exits dancing. Lights to black. Images of the current big public issues are projected on screens throughout the playing and audience spaces. These images might be those of terrorist attacks, murder, natural disasters, the latest political and corporate scandals, the latest popular but controversial fads like diets, outrageous celebrities, slick tv evangelists, riots, binge drinking, stock market graphs, bikini ads, theatre reviews—overall, a sometimes humorous collage of the current times.)

 

                                    END PROCESSION

 

(Rise on LaBARSHA. DOCTOR ELLIS, with clipboard, enters a nearby light. A medical clinic or suggestion thereof is projected.)

 

            DOCTOR

LaBarsha, you’re in good health; your physical was excellent.

 

            BARSHA

Are you sure? I know I felt something, just for a second, but it hurt.

 

            DOCTOR

Trust me, the lab reports look great: Every test, glucose, urea nitrogen, creatinine, sodium, potassium, chloride, calcium—every level is well within the limits. Cholesterol is excellent. Girl, I wish mine was just as good: 139 and HDL 48. Hematology? Superb results. Kidneys in great shape. Colonoscopy? Clear. No polyps at all.  Cardiology? You could just as well be 17 instead of 32. Breasts completely healthy. This is the third exam you’ve had in a year. I mean, it’s your insurance, but why waste it?

 

            BARSHA

You’re right. I just, sometimes I…I don’t know how I feel, except uncomfortable.

 

            DOCTOR

Physically?

 

            BARSHA

That too.

 

            DOCTOR

Is something worrying you?

 

            BARSHA

Well…

 

            DOCTOR

Like your job or something?

 

            BARSHA

I been doing it for 10 years.

 

            DOCTOR

Do you like your job?

 

            BARSHA

I used to.

 

            DOCTOR

You have a boyfriend?

 

            BARSHA

No.

 

            DOCTOR

Are you dating anyone?

 

            BARSHA

No.

 

            DOCTOR

When’s the last time you went on picnic?

 

            BARSHA

A picnic? Hmmm, about, maybe when I was 6.

 

            DOCTOR

How about a dinner party?

 

            BARSHA

I don’t do dinner parties.

 

            DOCTOR

Do you have some friends?

 

            BARSHA (miffed a bit)

Yes, I do, thank you.

 

            DOCTOR

What about family?

 

            BARSHA

I have none at all.

 

            DOCTOR

Do you socialize with your neighbors?

 

            BARSHA

In this city I do not get in my neighbors’ business and don’t want them in mine. We speak, that’s all.

 

            DOCTOR

Honestly, Barsha, you  should talk to a counselor. I know one who…

 

            BARSHA (stiffly)

I don’t need that, thank you.

 

            DOCTOR

How about I prescribe a very very mild anti-depressant?

 

            BARSHA (angry)

Doctor Ellis, I don’t need to be medicated. Effie, you know better than to ask me something like that.

 

            DOCTOR

 Physically you’re fine, so it must be something on your mind.

 

            BARSHA

Just tired that’s all. I need some rest.

 

            DOCTOR

Sure. Okay. Barsha, you’re a beautiful soul, a kind, compassionate, hardworking, healthy woman. Take care of yourself. Relax a bit. Ok?

 

(Lights out on DOCTOR; remain on BARSHA. Only her eyes give the slightest indication of the pitiful moans that erupt from the blackness behind her. Dingy attic space projected.)

 

           

            MAN’S VOICE (tears, sobbing)

Oh dear God, please God, Oooooooooooh aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! Help me!

           

            WOMAN’S VOICE

This isn’t right what you’re doing to us, LaBarsha. You know  better. Please God, show her thy merciful ways!

 

(Lights rise on an elderly, physically enfeebled  couple, MAN and WOMAN, tied to chairs in an enclosed space carved from the blackness. They are surrounded by filth, their clothes are torn, ripped, filth encrusted; they reek of feces and garbage.)

           

            WOMAN

We gave you what we had. It’s life. Don’t treat us this way.

           

            MAN

Oh God, the handcuffs are too tight; My hands are numb. I can’t feel my fingers.

           

            WOMAN

He can’t feel his fingers. Help us, God!

           

            MAN

I’ll do anything! Anything you want. Okay! Just anything!

           

            WOMAN

Please take the cuffs off us. Let us stand up!

           

            MAN

I been handcuffed to this chair for almost 2 days.

           

            WOMAN

I’m getting sores on my bottom.

           

            MAN

At least let me use the toilet. The chairs are slippery with piss and shit.

           

            WOMAN

We’re wild animals. We’re dying of unspeakable cruelty to each other under God’s sun. And we don’t care. We don’t really care! Barsha, you donate to all kinds of charities. Can’t you have a little charity toward us your elderly parents? When the press finds out…

           

            MAN

We’re starving. A crumb of bread, LaBarasha. Just a crumb of bread.  The press would crucify you.

           

            WOMAN

There’s no need to keep us handcuffed to these chairs. I promise we won’t try to leave the attic. Honest. You got three locks on the door! There’s no windows.

           

            MAN

We’ll stay in the attic, I swear ta God!

           

            WOMAN

How can you treat your parents this way?

           

            MAN

Black people don’t treat their elders this way.

           

            WOMAN

You remember your black studies? The ancestors. Respect. 

           

            MAN

Yes, the ancestors. Our ancestors didn’t suffer slavery and hatred just so we could ack like beasts in modern times.

 

(WOMAN prays and MAN punctuates her prayer with affirmations, shouts, amens, humming as in black fundamentalist church tradition.)

 

            WOMAN

Let us pray: Dear Lord, we call upon you once again in our times of sorrow and tribulation and injustice. We beseech thee, dear Lord to provide the means for our daughter to come to her senses, to free us from this insane bondage that she has put upon us. Give us the strength, oh Lord, to forgive her and to show her thy true ways. In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost, Amen

           

            BARSHA

So, you  think I’m insane, huh? Well, ya’ll just stay right where ya at for awhile. You so full of yourselves you must not be hungry. Stay up here in the dark with your stench.

           

            WOMAN (screaming)

No, Barsha, no. You gotta feed us at least.

           

            MAN (sobs uncontrollably)

Dear God, dear God, dear God, dear God…

 

(Lights fade out on them as their moans segue into music, an old Africamerican spiritual from the Sea Islands, “The Watchman.” Lights rise on BONES as an ancestor figure, ghostly, dressed in the tattered clothes of an Africamerican slave passing through the space. BONES   hoes in rhythm with the song he sings, worksong style. OTHER VOICES and musical instruments, pre-recorded, can accompany Bones depending on the production vision and resources. )

 

            SINGER (singing)

HOW LONG, WATCHMAN, HOW LONG

(repeat three times or more)

(call)

I ASK THE WATCHMAN HOW LONG

(response)

HOW LONG, WATCHMAN, HOW LONG

            (call)

WELL, HE DON’T KNOW HOW LONG

(response)

HOW LONG, WATCHMAN, HOW LONG

I ASK MY MOTHER HOW LONG

HOW LONG, WATCHMAN, HOW LONG

AND SHE DON’T KNOW HOW LONG

HOW LONG, WATCHMAN, HOW LONG

I ASK MY FATHER HOW LONG

HOW LONG, WATCHMAN, HOW LONG

WELL, HE DON’T KNOW HOW LONG

 

(etc. until Watchman exits. Lights rise on the homeless MR. GOSHAN, a heavily bearded, long-haired, middle age, badly dressed in rumpled clean clothes, white man reading a magazine, sitting on a milk crate. A park scene is projected. There is a sign next to his upturned hat: VIETNAM VET NEEDS JOB/FOOD/LODGING. He is totally relaxed as if on his own back porch. Traffic sounds, voices in the  distance, a radio playing somewhere near. BARSHA enters, power walking,  carrying a bag. She puts two dollars in his hat. He looks up, instant smile. She sits, breathing heavily.)

 

           

            GOSHAN

Ah, the generous lady has arrived!

           

            BARSHA (chuckles at this)

Thank you. How are you today, Mr. GOSHAN?

           

            GOSHAN

Richard, huh? You’ve known me almost nine months. Call me Richard.

           

            BARSHA

I like  calling you Mr. GOSHAN. You’re smart like a professor! Here, I got you a chicken sandwich.

           

            GOSHAN (genuine)

You’re the kindest person I ever met in my life.

           

            BARSHA (touched)

Oh now, I’m certain that you….

           

            GOSHAN

Listen, Barsha. I mean that! Most people would never just  bring me food or give me two bucks almost everyday, especially if they know I ain’t a veteran of nothing ‘cept  the corporate wars.  And they  damn sure wouldn’t give me nothing if they knew how much I hate white folks!

           

            BARSHA

Please don’t start, Mr. GOSHAN. Hating white folks is your favorite topic. (gently chiding) You oughtta be ashamed of yo’self.

           

            GOSHAN

Why? I’ve been white 62 years; I know what I’m talking about.

           

            BARSHA

Mr. GOSHAN, right now I need to talk about something else.

           

            GOSHAN

Of course. I can be overbearing which is due to my tenacious refusal to be a root or branch clutching this stony rubbish they erroneously call Western civilization. But I promise to leave the unfairly maligned white world alone for now. What’s on your mind, daughter?

           

            BARSHA

Well….

 

(Dim lights abruptly rise for a few seconds on imprisoned

MAN AND WOMAN moaning and crying before slowly fading out. Only BARSHA sees them.)

           

            BARSHA

Did you ever feel you needed a change?

           

            GOSHAN

What’samatter? I smell?

           

            BARSHA

No, not you. Me.

           

            GOSHAN

Oh. What is it you wanna change?

 

            BARSHA

Everything.

           

            GOSHAN

What’s to change? You’re not unemployed, you don’t use drugs, you don’t steal, you don’t forget about others in need, you don’t miss your mortgage payments, you don’t drink, you don’t smoke, you don’t watch tv. You didn’t default on your student loan. What’s to change?

           

            BARSHA

I’m tired of being a bunch of things that I don’t do.

           

            GOSHAN

Oh…uh…well…take up drinking! A little tv on the side maybe. Tv and alcohol. Great match.

           

            BARSHA

Mr. Goshan, I’m serious.

           

            GOSHAN

I know, sorry; go on.

           

            BARSHA

My life is running in place. Get up, catch a bus, go to work, come home, heat a tv dinner, get upset reading the newspaper, listen to ventilation pipes rattling in my attic everytime the wind blows, get headache. Take an aspirin.  My only friend visits every Thursday night. Weekends, clean, do laundry, pay a bill, shop, get my hair done, take a walk, rent some movies, order a pizza---routine, never changing, month after month, year after year. My life was never easy. In fact, I’ve never been that enthusiastic about being alive. That’s all I can say about my life after 32 years. I want to change everything!

           

            GOSHAN

 Okay. Everything. Whew!  There’s only one way to deal with everything at once. (pause)

           

            BARSHA

Yes?

 

GOSHAN

Jump off the cliff.

           

            BARSHA

Jump off…I…No, I don’t mean…

           

            GOSHAN

No, no, no, dear. Not suicide. Listen. I never told you this: I was the chief executive of Hatch and MacEldowny Investments. I was a filthy rich American prince. I once went to Washington, D.C. and scattered 50 million bucks among various elected officials who then changed federal tax policy regarding one of our clients. The client went to jail, unfortunately, but not before he made a fortune only a portion of which he had to pay back in fines. Small price to pay for a fortune that will sustain his family for generations.

           

            BARSHA

Mr. Goshan, I’m not talking about money;…

           

            GOSHAN

Me neither.  Listen. For 30 years, six days a week, sometimes seven, I sat in my office, watching Bloomberg’s stock quotes, keeping certain information from greedy shareholders, cleaning up fraudulent subsidiary reports and busting the hell outta unions. I started hating the corporate world. I hated all the dishonest legal jargon that hid evil intentions.  In my mind the world suddenly became a colossal fiction conjured in some Midwestern business school by a free market fanatic weirdo whose sole credo was: “Buy low at any human cost and sell as high as the market will bear. If there’s no market, create one and enforce it with the military and lots of prayer.” One day my mind suddenly exploded into a million pieces.  They carried me outta there screaming. In time I transformed myself into an honest hunter/gatherer. I jumped! You see?

           

            BARSHA

What about your family?

           

            GOSHAN

I had a wife and two income tax deductions, a boy and a girl. I left the house before they got up and came back after they were asleep. I gave ‘em a choice. Come be a bum with me or divorce me.

           

            BARSHA

That’s no choice.

           

            GOSHAN

It’s all I had to offer.

           

            BARSHA

What about love and stuff?

           

            GOSHAN

The word love; it’s like fast food; it fills ya up and makes ya feel satisfied, but there’s no nutrition. The kids are better off with their mother. She’s loaded, got everything I left. I…I  couldn’t…I really fell apart quite literally, and put myself back together as an honest bum. That’s change.

           

            BARSHA

I respect you and all, but I don’t wanna be a bum. I wanna…well…I just…Sometimes things get on your mind and won’t go away, like you feel like you’re in the middle of an avalanche, and pieces of a mountain keep rolling down at you and you can’t move.

           

            GOSHAN

I felt that way whenever our stocks fell more than 2 points. Jump off the cliff. Get outta that psychiatric institution. They fill those people up with fast drugs insteada showing ‘em how to live in harmony with chaos. Ya got “order” on one hand and “chaos” on the other. People need help balancing order and chaos. Instead, ya got them drug addicted crazies! Get another job!

           

            BARSHA

My job is no problem. The crazies know they’re crazy; it’s the “normal” people who think that they’re not crazy; they’re the problem. Like some of the folks who run our institutions. They hurt folks, real bad, without even knowing it, or maybe not even caring.

           

            GOSHAN

Now, you’re learning, daughter. Didn’t I once tell you the same thing?

           

            BARSHA

Yes, you did. But when you jump off a cliff, everything inside you is going off that cliff with you.  All that weight could smash you at the bottom.           

 

            GOSHAN

As an atheist once told me: “Nothing is more deadly than a metaphor taken literally.” Forget the cliff. Step away from the crowd. Join yourself. Have some fun!

           

            BARSHA

I have to get back to work.

 

(BARSHA exits as BONES, in blackface make up or mask, flips in and lands on the downbeat of JUMP JIM CROW, the famous 19th century blackface minstrel tune that was purportedly taken from an elderly, crippled slave by one Thomas D.Rice circa 1830. The lyrics are set to current style rap music, perhaps from a “boombox.” HE dances to the music, dressed in hip hop style but wearing blackface makeup.  GOSHAN dances as if inside his own mind, oblivious to BONES.  The lighting is now focused on just Bones; the rest of the playing space is black. There is either a live singer and musicians or the music and lyrics are pre-recorded and BONES lip synchs the words. The lyrics below are segments of one of the “original” versions of the song which the musical director can arrange to the rap music. On the projection screens are images of the Urban Black and Spanish ghettos, current images of Southern sharecropper and worker’s homes, images of old slave cabins, the white house in D.C.  )

 

            SINGER

(Chorus, intersperse as necessary)

Come listen all you gals and boys

I’se just from Tuckyhoe,

I’m goin’ ta sing a little song,

My name’s Jim Crow

Wheel about and turn about

And do just so,

Every time I wheel about

And Jump Jim Crow

(End Chorus)

-I wip my weight in wildcats

I eat an alligator,

It ain’t no big thing

Like eatin’  sweet potater

-I sit upon a hornet’s nest,

I dance upon my head,

I tie a snake ‘round my neck

And den I goes to bed.

-I’m a full blooded nigga,

Of de real old stock

            And wid my head and shoulder

I can split a horse block.

-I’m so glad dat I’m a nigga,

And don’t you wish you was too

For den you’d gain popularity

By jumping Jim Crow

-What stuff it is in dem

To make de Devil black

I’ll prove dat he is white

In de twinkling of a crack

For you see loved brudders,

As true as he hab a tail,

It’s Satan’s stone wickedness,

What makes him turn pale.

 

(Song ends and lights rise on LaBARSHA  and SISTER CORNDEW, mid forties; plump, excessively religious, a good friend at work, but they seldom socialize outside work. They wear white lab coats, plastic gloves. They are filling little paper cups full of pills for the mental patients, the audience.)

 

BARSHA

Sista Corndew, Sista Corndew, last night I dreamed that a man in a gleaming white suit visited me. He just stood over me, smiling at me, like I was the most precious thing in the world. And he was singing some beautiful song that made me cry. He was so beautiful I wanted to get up and follow him, wherever he was going, but I couldn’t; I had to get up and get to work. That man was a sign of something good coming into my life.

           

            CORNDEW (radiant with her understanding)

“For as a snare shall it come on all them that dwell on the face of the whole earth.” Luke, 22:35 The Lord grabbed ya. You had a vision.

           

            BARSHA (slightly believing)

I did?

           

            CORNDEW

You saw the Lord. He came and snared you.

           

            BARSHA

Snared me? Is that good?

           

            CORNDEW

It’s good! Praise God! You saw the Lord!

           

            BARSHA

But he wasn’t a blonde. He looked like…ah…ghetto with dreadlocks.  He wasn’t wearing robes. He was wearing a glowing white suit with bellbottom pants and a big white Rasta hat.

           

            CORNDEW

The style done changed. The Lord stay in style, girl! Dreadlocks and all. That’s a fact.

 

(fake Jamaican accent) Lord love Rasta man too, ya know?

           

            BARSHA (laughing)

Oh, stop, Sista Corndew.

           

            CORNDEW (intense)

No, I will not stop in the name of my Lord and Saviour. Please come to my church. I bet you everybody will tell you that you  had a vision. The Lord  came to bring light into the darkness of your life; it made you feel good. Your heart understood even it you didn’t. You always claiming you gon’ come to my church one day. Now, today, I want you to promise to come to church with me this Sunday, okay?

           

            BARSHA (overwhelmed)

Okay, okay. I’ll come just to make you happy.

           

            CORNDEW (elated)

You don’t know how happy you just made me. If I can bring in just one more soul for Christ, I can win two free tickets to The Lion King!

           

            BARSHA (joking)

That’s all it mean to you? Free tickets to Lion King?

           

            CORNDEW

That’s the Lord’s bonus. You gon’ love my church. You should see all the souls Rev. Splatta done brought to Christ. “I know your folks musta taken you to church.

           

            BARSHA (blank eyed)

My folks.

           

            CORNDEW (not hearing)

Yeah, I knew it. My folks was good too, real good Christians; you do something evil, they beat you ‘til ya tongue hang out yo’ mouth.They teach ya  how bad hell is. Say, hell is where the beast make you sit in a lake of fire and walk on red hot brimstone while he pours tar and gasoline on your body to make you burn brighter. They was good Christians. No no no, Barsha.

           

            BARSHA

What?

           

            CORNDEW (pointing at pills)

Look what you fidden ta do.

           

            BARSHA

What, Sista Corndew?

           

            CORNDEW

You put the green pill in Sasha’s cup.

           

            BARSHA

Oh! I’m glad you caught that.

           

            CORNDEW

Sasha take that green pill, we have to call national guard up in here. Since you in charge, I don’t have to tell you about making mistakes. (referring to the audience) You know how them peoples get to actin’ when they can’t get they drugs.

           

            BARSHA (confidential)

I don’t think Sasha got any business up in this asylum. She not crazy; she married.

           

            CORNDEW

And fidden ta git electro analysis treatment tomorrow.

           

            BARSHA (appalled)

No! Shock treatment? She does not need shock treatment! That could really mess her up. The medicine they pushing on her is bad enough as it is.

           

            CORNDEW

Oh, you her doctor now, suddenly?

           

            BARSHA

No, but…

           

            CORNDEW

“No buts” gits lots of butts in trouble, girl!

           

            BARSHA

Sista Corndew, when I was sitting out on the floor filling out medication forms, Sasha sat across the table and just started talkin’. I didn’t ask her to talk. She just talked; told me all about her husband. Been married three years. That man emptied her bank account, maxed out her credit card, took out a secret mortgage on her house and was running around with 2 other women. She claim he just weak-minded and them other women talked him into doing what he did. She say he a unemployed actor, ya know? Somebody need to set her straight, that’s all.

           

            CORNDEW

I undastan’ how ya feel, but front office hitting up Sasha’s insurance company for $1500 a day, plus her pills. You need to let that alone.

           

            BARSHA

And all these pills they feed her and everybody else are a real problem.You feel sad; here’s blue rectangular pill. You mad at your mama; here’s a square white pill. You hate yo’ job.  Here’s a round yellow pill. You hate chopped liver. Here’s a triangular purple pill. Pills don’t fix things; they postpone them.

           

            CORNDEW

I bet Christ can fix things. And what he can’t fix, pills hafta do. Show you what I mean: I had a uncle once who believed he was Jesus Christ. He walked around in raggedy robes that he made from bed sheets. He got his hair permed and dyed it blonde. He like ta drown call his self walking on water. He kept giving away all his money that he earned doing carpenter work. Every bum, every fool, every child, every hustler would be laying for my uncle on his payday. He just give the money to the street.

           

            BARSHA

Yeah, but he didn’t need no pill. At least he was doing good things.

           

            CORNDEW

Let me finish. He lived with his mama next door to us in a condo. He didn’t let nobody in that condo, family, nobody. His mama, she was almost 90, blind, her mind mostly gone. They lived off her pension and social security. He liked to call her Mary, but her name was Agatha. He built hisself a bed that looked like a manger and filled it with straw. He slept in it for 22 years, never did change the straw. Now, I don’t remember Christ doing nothing like that.

           

            BARSHA

Okay, he was peculiar, but he wasn’t hurting anybody.

           

            CORNDEW

You just ain’t gon’ let Sista Corndew finish, is you?

 

             BARSHA

I’m sorry, Sista Corndew; I thought you were finished.

           

            CORNDEW

One day, the police saw him walking around in his bed sheets, dragging this big wooden cross in the middle of the street. They stopped him. He told them he was Christ. They took him home, and when he opened the door, they smelled something stink real bad. They search the place and guess what they find.

           

            BARSHA

His mother had died and…

           

            CORNDEW

No. There was five dead womens in the basement. All of them was raped and strangled. He had one in the freezer, one under a pile of clothes and three behind the washer and dryer.

           

            BARSHA

Good God!

           

            CORNDEW

Now if he just coulda had one of these square brown pills and maybe three of them purple rectangles and maybe one or two white round pills, a few aspirins, them five women would be alive today.

           

            BARSHA

I understand, but, still, I mean, why did he do all that?

           

            CORNDEW

Because he was crazy! The Devil was in him.

           

            BARSHA

Was it a devil or was he just… afraid or lonely, maybe?

           

            CORNDEW (exasperated)

Girl, the man was crazy, that’s all. Five dead womens ain’t much company, LaBarsha. I believe the Lord visited you just in time. Oh, look at the time! We better get these pills out to them (gesturing toward the audience) patients before they start World War Three.

           

            BARSHA

You take those out. I’ll lock up and bring these.

 

(Lights out on BARSHA. CORNDEW approaches the audience singing PRECIOUS LORD.)

           

            CORNDEW (singing)

PRECIOUS LORD, TAKE MY HAND

LEAD ME ON WHERE I STAND

I AM TIRED I AM WEAK, I AM WORN

(talking to the audience as houselights rise slightly)

 Alright, ya’ll, line up fah yo’ medication. And no pushing and shoving. We got enough to go around. Keep quiet in line. You, hush up that giggling. Don’t make me hafta call security up in here.

 

(Lights crossfade; rise on LADY DOCTOR, making notations. BARSHA enters, pulling on her blouse or whatever.)

 

            DOCTOR

Barsha, I really don’t understand you.

 

            BARSHA

What?

 

            DOCTOR

Why’d you come back here so soon?

`

            BARSHA

I told you, I felt…well…like something is…

 

            DOCTOR

Are you in any pain, whatsoever?

 

            BARSHA

Not really, just, sometimes I hurt, but…

 

            DOCTOR

Where do you hurt?

 

            BARSHA

It jumps around. Might be my head or my leg or my side or my arm. It comes and goes; it’s really not pain; it’s…uh…like, I don’t know…

 

            DOCTOR

Well, Barsha, we’ve done a battery of tests, cat-scan, blood work, xrays, everything, and, I swear, you’re one of my healthiest patients. We can’t find anything that’s wrong with you. Look, when people are as healthy as you, I always prescribe a nice long vacation. That’s the only way to cure your uneasy feeling that moves around like a Mexican jumping bean. Now get outta here; I’ll see ya next year.

 

(Lights crossfade to MAN and WOMAN in the attic, handcuffed to  chains.)

           

            WOMAN

Her friend is coming tonight.

           

            MAN

It’s Thursday? How do you know? We never see the sun.

           

            WOMAN

I kept track since last Thursday. She come every Thursday; they cook food, eat, watch a movie, laugh and talk, just like everything is normal.

           

            MAN

Yo’ daughter’s crazy! Eight months of this!

           

            WOMAN

I didn’t know. She sounded like she meant it.

           

            MAN

We were stupid to fall for that shit ‘bout she wanna take care of us!

           

            WOMAN

We had a tidy little home.

           

            MAN

Two social security checks. Food, water, drugs and discounted cable.

           

            WOMAN

I used to read in the newspapers about people being kidnapped and kept prisoner in a basement or attic for years, but I never believed it would happen to us.

           

            MAN (screaming)

Didn’t I tell ya not ta let her read newspapers when she was kid, huh!?

           

            WOMAN

What? Follow her ‘round all day or something?

           

            MAN

Slap her face off! Fear works.

           

            WOMAN

Why didn’t you do that when she snatched yo’ ass and body slammed you into a chair and tied you down?