And then Linda got car
trouble the other night.
Yeah, she was coming up
from the South Side on the Dan Ryan
and her car started to act up.
And these two guys come
over to her car,
“Hey, you got car
trouble? Let me in. Let me see if I can fix it.
Let me in there. Heyyyy . . .”
You know what I want to
get her, I mean, if I don't break up with her?
I want to get her one of
those stun guns you can get at WalMart—
you know the ones, they shoot a beam of electrical
energy,
and it doesn't kill 'em, it
just zaps 'em with a thousand or so
volts of electricity and bam! They're out cold.
‘Cause if she killed
anyone, you know, she'd go to jail.
This is ridiculous. Let's
go to the station and get the guy.
But she doesn't want to
leave her car.
“O.K., you go to the
station, and I'll wait here with your car.”
But she says no, she'll
be O.K.
So I'm just about getting
ready to go.
Then two more guys show
up: What's up, car trouble?
They wanna
push the car with their car.
I don't know, I don't
think it's the greatest idea, on the Ryan.
But we get to the gas
station; everything's fine, they're gonna work on
Linda's car.
Thanks a lot for your
help and everything
“This ain't gonna cut it.”
What?
“This isn't gonna cut it.”
So I go in my wallet and
give him twenty more.
“Hey, man . . .”
Listen,
you lowlife. You just made forty
bucks doin' something you shoulda
done free.
I mean, don't you think?
I mean, I woulda. If I just saw someone on the road like that,
especially if it was a woman, hah!
Any one of my friends woulda done that. For free. And—any one
of 'em.
What's the matter with
people now?
Like I said, I said, You just made forty bucks doin'
something you shoulda done for free. You asshole. You get out of my face before I beat the shit outa you.
That’s why I believe in
the death penalty.